I am getting ready to do one of my least favorite things….. Balancing my checkbook. UGH!
So this got me thinking… “Why do I hate doing it so much?”
Upon further reflection this is what I discovered about myself.
I am sure at least some of you can relate. : )
The first thing I do once I have everything in front of me is to quickly scan over the entries since the last time I balanced. Now, sadly enough I am scanning over to find mistakes, possible misreads of my writing or just plain possible miscalculations. I am already preparing that I will have mistakes. That way when I am off by a certain amount I may have some clue as to why.
REALLY….. argh already I am second guessing myself. Maybe because I don’t take long enough on the front end to make sure each entry is written correctly and legibly. hmmm
I rationalize to myself…..well I was in the line at the store and was in a hurry to get here or there and so I just quickly wrote it down, or saved it for later entry (which never works) and so now I can’t read it at all, or worse I didn’t even enter it!
So then I continue to check off every detail of the last month. This really starts to get me now. I spent how much on what? I bought that because why? I am not going to have enough to live on!I hate having to relive every transaction related to money. It really shows what I find of value. Sometimes, it is pretty basic, but other times I realize how much I am blessed with and how little I show it monetarily.
“Balancing my checkbook is like an examination of my soul.”
Sometimes I do not like what I see.
So after examining my months details ,I have to add up the coming and going to see what is left. I hate this part. It rarely EVER balances the first time when I subtract what I have spent from what is available. I am then on a mission to find what is wrong.
My husband laughs as I blame the bank, blame the establishments I have purchased items from ect. ,but 99.9% of the time it is ME that is to blame. I just would never want to admit that out loud. It is usually my carelessness, miscalculations or writing that is to blame. But I am quick to tell the one time that is was the bank that was off.
Finally, I get the blasted thing to balance. I feel a sense of pride and accomplishment. Like I was just that good. Yep that’s right…. I did it!
Oh My, this reflection is scary. I think I know why I do NOT like to balance the books.
I have been, mistaken, humbled, greedy,blaming and proud. Not the best of characteristics.
So it got me thinking that this year I will strive for the following:
Taking time to do things right the first time
2 Timothy 2:15 “Do your best to present yourself to God as an approved worker who has nothing to be ashamed of, handling the word of truth with precision.”
Being thankful for what I have been given
1 Thessalonians 5:18 “Give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.”
Being generous with what I have received
Deuteronomy 8:18 “Remember the Lord your God, for it is he who gives you the ability to produce wealth.”
Accepting that I am not always right and accepting blame when I am wrong.
2 Corinthians 5:10 “For we must all appear before the judgment seat of Christ, that each one may receive the things done in the body, according to what he has done, whether good or bad.”
I have help, it isn’t all ME when things work out! I can be excited but not boastful.
Psalm 48:14 “For this is God, our God forever and ever; He will be our guide even to death.”
Well off to balance the checkbook for the first time this year. Wish me luck! Hopefully, I will do it with a more positive attitude this time.
Happy New Year!